I Have to Stop Thinking

I reached for a jar of peanut butter this morning and now I don't know what to think about things anymore.

My right hand got to the jar first, the left wasn't too far behind in the race.

Did I intend for my right hand to be the only retriever? Is my right arm longer? My right hand stronger? Am I truly right-handed or is something going on? Did he intend for my right hand to be this omnipotent glory hog of an appendage? Did he even have a hand in this event? Did I tell my brain to tell my right shoulder to tell my arm to tell my hand to grab the jar with a sured agility and faster than I told my brain to tell my left shoulder to tell my arm to tell my hand to?

I know what you are supposing...you are chronicling your life here, starting today, and getting into a very cliched conversation of is the glass half emptied from fullness. But I kid you not...I am at an impasse.

Am I competitive within my own body? Do I race my body parts against each other just to see if I have the will? If I favor one over the other? Or if, and I'm going to stop calling God "he" or 'Him" I'm from effing Texas, God kinda got a little bored with guiing the country into a recession and decided to nudge my right arm a little?

And now I'm thinking: Am I two-years-old? Why am I reaching for things like jars with both hands? I know approximately how much a jar of peanut butter weighs and that I could've handled it with just telling my brain to tell my right shoulder to tell my arm to tell my hand to grab the peanut butter, but I totally lunged at it with both perfectly capable hands and arms. And now have distressed my state-of-mind.

(Hold on a minute, Facebook is distracting me...I've been poke by like 20 people today).

Yeah so. Omnipotence. Do you think that the pope looks back on his life prior to being omnipotent and thinks, "Wow, I was like a powerless douche like a year ago, and now no one can argue with me any longer?" And I'd like research on the edict of omnipotence. I'm not going to do it myself, I'm getting poked like crazy. So help me out because it seems like a very convenient concept for a religion to implement and encourage people to buy into. But I'm wrought with frustration over my own two hands, literally, so who am I to really judge a very fine establishment like the Holy Roman Catholic Church? Don't answer that. I'm not ready for your honesty.

The only thing that is comforting me today is the recent discovery that an ex of mine is married to and has a child with someone not so good-looking and considerably chubbier than I. They have a nice smile and everything. And I'm damn happy for them. Kudos on the plunge my friend! But it's strangely comforting to me. Like a decision, whether life altering or simple and inert, is a thing. In effect, a simple noun. It's what they effectually do to us in the long run that matters.

I think my right arm is now oddly stronger.